Saturday, October 13, 2012

Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens


Thoughtless (Thoughtless, #1)Thoughtless by S.C. Stephens


I usually try to temper my negative reviews. I can't make any promises here. It was really that bad. I don't even know where to start. The characters were flat and under developed. The story was told like like reading a sophomore English student's fiction assignment that got out of control. There was no depth to the story. It was like reading a sexually awakened college girl's fantasy with no idea what reality looks like.

The rest of my review is full if spoilers so consider yourself warned. Here is the story according to me, summarized by the flat characters with no moral compass:

Ariel: I am such a lucky 21 year old. I am moving across the country to finally LIVE with my extremely hot, amazing loverboy. He's Australia. He's perfect. He has an internship in Seattle.

Denny: G'Day, Mate! Chuckle.

Ariel: After a long drive and a couple of rest stops (*giggle*), we're in Seattle. There's our roommate. He's totally hot and also perfect. He's a rock star in a band. He's sexual. I want him. Well, back to our new place where my Australian and perfect boyfriend and I will have sex!

Oh, no! Denny is going to Tucson! But I love him so much! I'm going to pout, cry, and blush. New roommate is so hot! His name is Kellen. We're best friends. We hold hands, snuggle, and kiss. Denny just called. I'm really mad at him. I'm getting drunk on Tequila with Kellen. Oops. We ended up sleeping together. Now I'll blush and cry. But look at Kellen's great hair! And his bod is so hot! Maybe we can just be friends. I'll keep telling him that we're friends that do everything except that. Oops. We did it again. Oh. And my boyfriend came back. Now I'll have graphic sex with him.

Kellen: She tells me she wants to just be friends, then she keeps sidling up to me and snuggling with me. She touches me. She makes advances. She makes me all hot and bothered, whispers sweet nothings, then pulls back and blushes and cries. Then I can hear her upstairs with her boyfriend having sex. She is the worst kind of tease. I'm sexually frustrated. Now I will become a man whore. I am bringing home different women every night. I don't even know their names. I am performing sex acts that are illegal in 8 states. And having them performed on me. Wait. Why is Kiera hitting me? Now she's kissing me. She's letting me touch her. We're about to do it. Finally! Wait. Now she's crying and blushing again. What is up with her? I think I will chuckle.

Denny: I'm a clueless and pathetic handsome Australian. I think I'll propose to Kiera because she's so moody and depressed. Now I will chuckle.

Kiera: I'm so conflicted (although I don't use the word "conflicted" because I'm not smart enough to know it)! I love two beautiful men. And they love me! And nobody burps or farts or drools in their sleep. Everybody is just so perfect! Whatever shall I do? I know. I'll have graphic sex with Kellen and tell him I love him. Then I'll have graphic sex with Denny and tell him I love him. Then I will cry and blush. Maybe this time I will even "pale."

Kellen: I had a sad, sad childhood. Nobody has ever loved me. I've never loved anybody. My parents, in their one dimensional characterization, hated me. Then they died. I only find solace in sex. But I love Kiera. Kiera loves me. We base that love on absolutely nothing because all we've done is objectify one another but somehow I know it is true love. I'm about to take Kiera again. We're really into it. Oh, crap. There's Denny.

Denny: Why, you little man whore. I'm going to beat you up.

Kiera: No, Denny! I love him! But I love you, too! I didn't know how to tell you! I'm just so plain and not exceptional. How did such a plain and non-exceptional girl get the love of two perfect guys? Sex, anyone?

Big ending with someone getting hospitalized and everyone finding a happy ending....[Ariel: I am such a lucky 21 year old. I am moving across the country to finally LIVE with my extremely hot, amazing loverboy. He's Australia. He's perfect. He has an internship in Seattle.

Denny: G'Day, Mate! Chuckle.

Ariel: After a long drive and a couple of rest stops (*giggle*), we're in Seattle. There's our roommate. He's totally hot and also perfect. He's a rock star in a band. He's sexual. I want him. Well, back to our new place where my Australian and perfect boyfriend and I will have sex!

Oh, no! Denny is going to Tucson! But I love him so much! I'm going to pout, cry, and blush. New roommate is so hot! His name is Kellen. We're best friends. We hold hands, snuggle, and kiss. Denny just called. I'm really mad at him. I'm getting drunk on Tequila with Kellen. Oops. We ended up sleeping together. Now I'll blush and cry. But look at Kellen's great hair! And his bod is so hot! Maybe we can just be friends. I'll keep telling him that we're friends that do everything except that. Oops. We did it again. Oh. And my boyfriend came back. Now I'll have graphic sex with him.

Kellen: She tells me she wants to just be friends, then she keeps sidling up to me and snuggling with me. She touches me. She makes advances. She makes me all hot and bothered, whispers sweet nothings, then pulls back and blushes and cries. Then I can hear her upstairs with her boyfriend having sex. She is the worst kind of tease. I'm sexually frustrated. Now I will become a man whore. I am bringing home different women every night. I don't even know their names. I am performing sex acts that are illegal in 8 states. And having them performed on me. Wait. Why is Kiera hitting me? Now she's kissing me. She's letting me touch her. We're about to do it. Finally! Wait. Now she's crying and blushing again. What is up with her? I think I will chuckle.

Denny: I'm a clueless and pathetic handsome Australian. I think I'll propose to Kiera because she's so moody and depressed. Now I will chuckle.

Kiera: I'm so conflicted (although I don't use the word "conflicted" because I'm not smart enough to know it)! I love two beautiful men. And they love me! And nobody burps or farts or drools in their sleep. Everybody is just so perfect! Whatever shall I do? I know. I'll have graphic sex with Kellen and tell him I love him. Then I'll have graphic sex with Denny and tell him I love him. Then I will cry and blush. Maybe this time I will even "pale."

Kellen: I had a sad, sad childhood. Nobody has ever loved me. I've never loved anybody. My parents, in their one dimensional characterization, hated me. Then they died. I only find solace in sex. But I love Kiera. Kiera loves me. We base that love on absolutely nothing because all we've done is objectify one another but somehow I know it is true love. I'm about to take Kiera again. We're really into it. Oh, crap. There's Denny.

Denny: Why, you little man whore. I'm going to beat you up.

Kiera: No, Denny! I love him! But I love you, too! I didn't know how to tell you! I'm just so plain and not exceptional. How did such a plain and non-exceptional girl get the love of two perfect guys? Sex, anyone?

Big ending with someone getting hospitalized and everyone finding a happy ending.... (hide spoiler)]


Ugh. I'm angry at myself for wasting the hours reading this drivel that I will never get back. Maybe I'll go off and blush and cry. Afterwards, I might chuckle.

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*I received a free copy of this book from publishing company in exchange for an honest review. The opinions expressed here are my own.

2 comments:

Monique Jones said...

At least I got a kick out of your review. Six chapters in, and I just can't force myself to read anymore of this babble...and to think this is now a trilogy.

A Musing Mother said...

Actually, I think I may have given you the whole book in two minutes flat. Sorry about that.