Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Face It. What Women Really Feel as Their Look Change

I really loved this book. It is not a book about about staying beautiful nor is it a book full of trite pop psychology mantra about how beauty is within. The truth is that we do possess inner beauty but in this culture, our outer beauty is still important.

The authors have an incredible insight on the psychological effects of women aging. As a former beautiful co-ed turned middle age suburban housewife/professional counselor/mother, I couldn't agree more with the authors take on beauty and the aging woman. We go through an "Uh-oh" moment and thus begins our journey. For me it was when the cute guy flirted shamelessly and I realized his target was my little girl. Little meaning 14 years old and 5'7".

The authors' approach to the aging process is to resolve the beauty paradox. Through specific steps and anecdotal evidence based on their combined years of private practice, the authors guide the reader through the process. Frankly, the steps could be used for any life altering event.

Step 1. Turn Uh-Oh moments into Ah-ha moments.
Step 2. The only mask you wear should be made of honey and yogurt. Essentially, aging is not a dirty word. Come out of hiding and accept the outer self you are becoming
Step 3. Talk back to your internal dialogues. What is the message you are hearing in your head? Reframe it.
Step 4. Give Mom her due. Take the best of her and leave the rest behind. Her aging process is not the same as your own. The cultural experiences are different. It's not your mother's fault. Or your father's. Or your own. Again, reframe the experience.
Step 5. Use adolescent memories instead of repeating them. Remember how awkward we felt growing into our bodies and fashions? Avoid the impulsive decisions we made back then.
Step 6. Saying Goodbye is hard to do. But saying goodbye to something is the first step to saying hello to another.

The authors provide excellent and personal insight into the journey of the aging woman. The aging woman can be anybody from 23 to 93. The authors are really guiding the reader in accepting any kind of change that is difficult.

Highly recommend this book to anybody - but especially the woman of any age going through tumult due to aging, infidelity of either partner, illness, etc.

This book was provided to me by FSB Media. The review and opinion is my own. Besides a copy of this book, I have not been compensated for my review.


Stacy said...

Oh I love your review! As a (shhh!) 38 year old ever so (oh please God, ever so slowly!) approaching 40...I'm finding those lines, my waist is uh-oh expanding like never ever ever before and I have to work out which i've never had to do before and i have to watch what i eat and i can't eat all the desserts all the time anymore and oh my goodness getting older!!!! i definitely need this book!!! Thanks for an awesomely great review!

CountessLaurie said...

Amen to Step 4.