Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags Review

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: The 200  Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore - But Usually DoThe Little Black Book of Big Red Flags: The 200 Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore - But Usually Do by Natasha Burton

Goodreads: Finding the right guy is often a trial and error process, during which you're bound to encounter more than a few big red flags. From not introducing you as his girlfriend, to calling his mom for help with every decision, a guy's behavior can offer valuable lessons of what you don't want in a boyfriend.

The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags
explains all those relationship warning signs you totally spotted, but chose to ignore, combining what-the-heck-was-I-thinking?! tales of dating disaster along with advice on how to handle similar situations in your own relationship. Once you're aware of some of the red-flag-worthy problems men display, you can evaluate what you're okay with, what you're so not okay with, and, hopefully, gain a better understanding of what kind of man, and relationship, will work best for you.

Adapted from the blog ( founded by the book's authors, The Little Black Book of Big Red Flags was inspired by the downright dreadful dudes they've encountered and, of course, the big red flags these men presented. No matter how completely insensible you may have been at certain points during your romantic career, you're not alone--a lot of women have had similarly dicey dating pasts. With this book you'll learn a little, laugh a lot, and improve your dating dexterity so that you don't get stuck in another big red flag situation

My take: I really liked the book description for this selection. Three women sharing their experiences and experiences of their blog community. Advice from the trenches, gathered from hundreds of women. The stories are also clearly screened as this is not a bash-all-men book nor is it a book of getting even for getting hurt by someone.

There is a lot of information and good advice. However, this book was not for me. I stopped after Parts I and II because of content. Most of the stories and advice were about sex and included slang I didn't know. Although I can't say the advice was not good, because it was - like don't allow the man you are sleeping with objectify you and such, I wanted to say, early every time, "Why are you sleeping with him?!"

I had hoped it was more relational rather than sexual and maybe it would have been the second part of the book. I simply didn't want the graphic pictures that were entering my head to be there. Don't get me wrong, the ladies included relational advice but so much of it was AFTER the women had slept with the guy. So much of the foibles of finding the red flags could have easily been detected BEFORE the women had sex with the guys. And then continued the sexual relationship.

It seemed to me that the norm was meet someone, sleep with him, then find out more about him. The advice I would have given would have probably come from Dr. Laura. Stop putting out so easily!

Besides the weird sexual red flags, the book could have been written very easily about relational red flags. I was disappointed and disgusted by the sexual content and couldn't relate.

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